Kookylicious

This is no Random read!

2010-03-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

Random by Craig Robertson

Synopsis: Glasgow is being terrorised by a serial killer the media have nicknamed The Cutter. The murders have left the police baffled. There seems to be neither rhyme nor reason behind the killings; no kind of pattern or motive; an entirely different method of murder each time, and nothing that connects the victims except for the fact that the little fingers of their right hands have been severed.
If DS Rachel Narey could only work out the key to the seemingly random murders, how and why the killer selects his victims, she would be well on her way to catching him. But as the police, the press and a threatening figure from Glasgow's underworld begin to close in on The Cutter; his carefully-laid plans threaten to unravel - with horrifying consequences.

Review: This is not a book for the faint-hearted: not due to over-graphic descriptions but the whole idea of the reasons for the killings in the first place. The Cutter is our guide through his world of pain and death. We follow the Cutter through his thought-process as he makes the decision of who to kill next and, eventually, find out his reasons why he is killing. A twisted path of decision-making and how he handles his wife’s depression lead us to uncomfortably sympathise with him.

As Robertson is himself a journalist, the use of the written word here was pivotal to the Cutter’s work. Reading the newspapers ensuring his work was not missed and gave the Cutter a sense of how others perceived his work.

When asked how he came to write Random, Robertson said “I was fascinated by the idea of the perfect, motiveless crime and the problems that presents for those investigating it. I also wanted to toy with people's perceptions of right and wrong. Mostly wrong.” It is this feeling of ‘wrongness’ that left me feeling so unsettled. Not in an I-can’t-read-this kind of way, but more in a eurgh-how-could-he kind of way.

This is a gripping read that makes you affiliate with a serial killer in a way you will not think possible. A must read!

A handbook for the seriously stressed parent.

2010-03-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

You know how every parent wishes they’d been handed an instruction manual when they head home with their first child? Well, this isn’t quite that but it’s as close as you’re going to get. No matter how long you’ve been a parent you can never stop learning about how to be a better one. Every day my children present me with new challenges and I’m always searching for the best solutions. I became a mum just under two years ago through the wonderful invention that is adoption. I immediately became a mum to a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. How I wish I had had Raising Happy Children for Dummies before we brought our children home.

I love the Dummies series of books and have joked about one being for parents. I didn’t realise there was already one available! For parents of babies to teenagers, this book has a section for every eventuality and every situation such as: discipline, being different and improving your basic parenting skills. To explain how the book works I’ll focus on the section that has helped me the most: Discipline.

It is set into three chapters:
1) Getting Down to Earth and Practical: Disciplining Your Kids
2) Choosing Different Strategies for Different Ages
3) When the Going Gets Tough: Handling Conflict

Each chapter is broken down even further into individual topics making it easy to turn quickly to the information you need at any moment. (This is especially useful when your toddler has just smeared your favourite lipstick all over your newly decorated wall.) There are symbols in the margins pointing you to tips, things to remember, warnings, words of wisdom and positive parenting hints.

It is important to remember that children of different ages have different behaviour traits. It says here that “one in five 2-year-olds is estimated to have a tantrum each day – but remember that means four out of five don’t”. Hmm, well my son must’ve had his share and the share of two other 2-year-olds for the first few weeks of us having him. No child fits the mould perfectly which is why this book is careful to remind us that one strategy that works with your 5-year-old first-born may not work with your 5-year-old second-born.

This is one of my favourite types of advice-giving books. It’s in plain English, no fancy, non-understandable terms used in universities. It is quick and easy to use in all situations, making this the ideal book for busy parents. With cartoons at the front of each section to make you chuckle, this book is an ideal present for parents with children of all-ages and perhaps a most welcome gift for new parents.

Vampires and Pirates - what more do you need?

2010-03-08T03:45:00.000-08:00

Vampirates: Empire of Night by Justin Somper

Synopsis: Sidorio, fuelled by grief and revenge, is intent on becoming King of the Vampirates and building a new empire to bring terror to the oceans. He faces growing opposition from both the Pirate Federation, including Vampirate Assassin Cheng Li, and the Nocturnals - the more benign vampirate realm - led by Mosh Zu and Lorcan Furey. Both the pirates and the Nocturnals are forced to raise their game in response to the new and urgent threat from Sidorio and the renegade Vampirates.

Twins Grace and Connor Tempest, still ricocheting from the recent discovery of their true parenthood and its explosive implications, are thrust deep into the heart of the conflict. Old foes and allies are thrown together in unexpected ways and, as the stakes rise higher than ever before, Grace and Connor find their alliances shifting in ways no-one could ever have possibly foreseen…

Review: this book begins with a significant development! Do not read further if you are worried about being spoiled! Short review: The book is fun and worth a read. (I pinched this sentence from Bookgeeks as I couldn’t have worded it better myself.)

The fifth book in the infamous Vampirates series is a fast-paced story moving swiftly on from Lady Lola’s beheading by her step-son, Connor, to see her up and about again, ready to cause more aggravation for the twins. Grace and Connor, still trying to come to terms with the fact that they are half-vampire, take on a dangerous mission and are forced to decide where their true loyalties lie. Stuckley and Johnny have more of a leading role in this novel and there’s at least one surprise death.

Somper’s talent for horror writing is ever more apparent in this part of the series, with one particularly gruesome scene. This is not unexpected, as vampires are blood-eaters after all, a fact that was not made obvious at first.

If you haven’t read the other books in the series then do so, immediately, then read book 5 and quickly! I don’t feel this can be read as a stand-alone due to the need to know the character’s history. A fantastic part in a brilliant series.

A must- read!

2010-03-08T02:57:00.001-08:00

Dark Life by Kat Falls

Synopsis: Ty has lived under the ocean for his entire life. Following global warming and the rise of the seas, his family joined an underwater community in hopes of living in the new frontier of the ocean floor. But When Ty meets Gemma, a girl from "topside", who is searching the seas for her brother; she quickly makes his life very complicated. Together Ty and Gemma face dangerous sea creatures and venture into the frontier town's rough underworld as they search for her missing brother.

But the deeper they dig, the more attention they attract, and soon Ty and Gemma find themselves being hunted by a gang of outlaws who roam the underwater territories causing havoc, and who seem to have eerie abilities. But Ty has a secret of his own; living underwater for his entire life has meant he has also developed a "special" power. Can he keep it a secret from Gemma and his family or is it time for him to finally tell everyone the truth?

Review: Ty and Gemma’s friendship introduces them to each other’s worlds. Gemma’s is a world cramped and filled with noise. Ty’s is one of tranquillity. When their worlds collide it sets them on an adventure more dangerous than they both imagined. With underwater pirates attempting to sabotage the community, Ty has to use everything he has to help his new friend and protect his old ones.

All the way through this book, I kept turning to my husband saying, “They have to make this into a movie”. The descriptions of Ty’s world are so vivid I want to see them realised. My imagination isn’t enough. If nothing else, I want to see a picture of Ty’s jellyfish-like house. I also want to breathe underwater and see what it is like to never see sunlight.

A fantastic fantasy adventure story for teens which needs to be put on the big screen for all to see!

UPDATE: The Gotham Group, which helped bring The Spiderwick Chronicles to our screens, has bought up the rights to Kat Falls' adventure book Dark Life with an eye to turning it into a kid-friendly action movie. YES!

Does Perfect Chemistry pass the test?

2010-03-08T02:07:00.000-08:00

Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles

Synopsis: When Brittany Ellis walks into chemistry class on the first day of senior year, she has no clue that her carefully created "perfect" life is about to unravel before her eyes. Forced to be lab partners with Alex Fuentes, a gang member from the other side of town, Brittany finds herself having to protect everything she's worked so hard for - her flawless reputation, her relationship with her boyfriend and, most importantly, the secret that her home life is anything but perfect. Alex is a bad boy and he knows it. So when he makes a bet with his friends to lure Brittany into his life, he thinks nothing of it. But the closer Alex and Brittany get to each other the more they realise that sometimes appearances can be deceptive and that you have to look beneath the surface to discover the truth.

Review: This is a story of love against conforms of society expectations. Meet Brittany Ellis – perfect cheerleader dating the captain of the football squad, achieving top grades but hiding secrets from her friends. Then meet Alex Fuentes, Latino bad boy with an eye for a pretty girl. In their own, individual worlds, they are the top, the respected, the successful. Together, they are complete opposites, deigned never to be the best of friends, never mind lovers.

However, this is something Alex insists they will be. Placing a bet with his friends, Alex sets out to woo Miss Prissy-Knickers. Hiding their feelings from themselves, like a modern day Romeo and Juliet, Alex and Brittany fight to hide their love, then fight to win acceptance from those around them. I’m not going to tell you if the ending follows Shakespeare’s tragic tale: you will have to read it to find out for yourself.

Like Brittany, I first was annoyed and frustrated by Alex’s behaviour but grew to love him and fear for his safety. Brittany was so pompous and unlikeable as well, but when you saw what went on at home and the loyalty she had to her sister, you realise how likeable she is. A tale of love across the greatest divide and a moral of not judging by appearances, this is a book you cannot judge by its cover. A modern romance told sensitively for readers of all ages.

If I Grow Up. Shouldn't that be when?

2010-03-08T01:31:00.000-08:00

If I Grow Up by Todd Strasser

Synopsis: In the Frederick Douglass Project where DeShawn lives, daily life is ruled by drugs and gang violence. Dropping out of school and joining a gang is the norm and every kid knows someone who’s died. Gunshots ring out on a regular basis.

DeShawn is smart enough to know he should stay in school and keep away from the gangs. But while his friends have drug money to buy anything they want, DeShawn’s family can barely afford food for the month. How can he stick to his principles when his family is hungry?

In this gritty novel about growing up in the inner-city projects, award-winning author Todd Strasser opens a window into the life of a teenager struggling with right and wrong under the ever-present show of gangs.

Review: I am going to be brutally honest with my review of this book. At first reading, I couldn’t stand it. The first chapter was so brutal in its description of the dead gang-banger. Now, not brutal for an adult novel, but this is aimed at young teens and I found this difficult to grasp. The descriptions were depicting a harsh world, one I don’t want my children to see. One I don’t want them to know of... or do I?

DeShawn’s world could not be further from that of my own upbringing. I lived with my parents – DeShawn with his grandmother. I knew nothing of gang culture or death by violent means whereas for DeShawn, this is an everyday occurrence. DeShawn has decisions to make at the age of 12 that I still don’t have to make aged 33.

This book is not an easy read. It is uncomfortable reading if you remember this is based on situations that happen for young boys in the US (and in the UK and all over the world) every day. Though if you’re not happy with feeling uncomfortable then just forget the realities of life and enjoy the story. However, if you do this, I think you may have missed the point.

I started off by saying I couldn’t stand this book. By the end I couldn’t let go of DeShawn. I wanted to go into his life and haul him out of it. I wanted to hold him, shake him and give him a way out. But for most DeShawns of this world, there is no way out. This is a gripping read for all age groups. Most importantly, get your children to read this. Teach them that gangs are dangerous. Teach them what life is like for some of their peers. Don’t let them learn the hard way.

I want to read this!!!

2010-03-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

Shattered

Quinn Rafferty is working as a bounty hunter and bail bondsman in St. Louis when a new neighbor catches his eye. He’s tempted by her beauty—but he knows from experience that anyone desperate enough to live in his building is damaged goods. Besides, he has his own soul to mend before he can worry about anyone else.

Desperate

Sara Davis is on the run, but not for the usual reasons a woman goes on the lam. She’s not an abused wife, and she’s not a criminal. But she does have a plan for her future. And as much as she finds herself attracted to her gruff, tough neighbor, she can’t risk telling him the secrets she’s hiding. There’s just too much at stake.

Driven to desire…

But Quinn must get closer to Sara when she turns out to be the target of his new missing persons case, and he discovers that there is something more complex and dangerous to her than he thought. Now, both Quinn and Sara will have to expose their true feelings—as well as their fragile hearts—if they hope their love will survive…
EXCERPT

He opened the door—

And stopped dead in his tracks as somebody all but fell into his arms. Somebody…a woman. And not Theresa.

He caught her just above her elbows, automatically steadying her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice soft and low.

Then she lifted her face and Quinn found himself gazing into the biggest, brownest eyes he’d ever seen in his life. Feeling a little dazed, he studied her face while she stammered out another apology.

Quinn barely heard it.

He was too busy staring at her mouth. A very pretty mouth, a cupid’s bow mouth slicked with deep, vibrant red. Under his hands, he could feel silken smooth skin and unable to resist, he stroked a thumb along her inner arm.

Her skin was soft, soft and warm. He was also pretty sure she had the creamiest, most flawless skin imaginable. Her shoulder-length hair was a shade caught between blonde and brown, nondescript, but for some reason, he found himself thinking about tangling his fingers in that hair and holding her head still while he kissed that red-slicked mouth.

Well, hello…

You have to go here to find out more - meet you there!

Hubby's reply

2010-02-19T02:44:00.000-08:00

My husband sent this email after I sent him my blog link....

You don’t have to put it in words. I do know how you feel. I can’t change it though. The way you feel shows how damaging your depression has become. You need to get free of all this baggage you are carrying around, because it is clogging up your present life of what you have got. It might be good if this nurse could offer you some counseling. I don’t want you to miss out on Jay’s and Beth’s growing up years, their achievements, their growing personalities. You can’t see their bright shining lights through dark clouds. I don’t want you to not be able to make friends and keep them or to not be very close to your mum & dad. I am sure you yearn to be free, happy with who you are and happy with what you’ve got. That is my biggest prayer for you. I am always here for you, waiting patiently for the clouds that hide the real Sarah to lift. I love you Hubby xxxxxx

He is my angel, my saving grace, my true love.

Daughters of Fortune - A fantastic debut novel.

2010-01-30T03:57:00.000-08:00

Daughters of Fortune by Tara Hyland

Out March 2010

Synopsis:

William Melville's daughters are heiresses to the world's most exclusive fashion dynasty. Beautiful and rich, they are envied by all. But behind the glittering façade of their lives, each girl hides a dark secret that threatens to tear their family apart.
Smart, ambitious Elizabeth knows how to manipulate every man she meets, except the one who counts: her father.
Gentle, naïve Caitlin, the illegitimate child, struggling to fit into a world of privilege while staying true to herself.
Stunning, spoilt Amber, the party girl with a weakness for bad boys; more fragile than anyone realises.
As each of them seeks to carve out her own destiny, Elizabeth, Caitlin and Amber face difficult choices, which will take them in wildly different directions. But as old wounds resurface and threaten to destroy the foundations of the Melville empire, their paths will cross again. Because the simple truth is that, no matter how far you go, you cannot escape the claims of family.

Review:

I have to admit when this book came I looked at in fear. At 567 pages, I thought this would beat me. “If I hate it I’ll never be able to get to the end to review it.” How on earth would I find the time to read it? Well, I shouldn’t have worried as I read it in two, long sessions. With ease. With pure enjoyment. With an ever-growing desire to read more and find out more about the Melville family.

From London to Paris and New York, the reader will find themselves submerged in glamour and style, secrets and heartache. Three sisters, two full and one half, are brought together at their father’s insistence; each with a distinct personality and not one with the desire to be the same. Elizabeth, the eldest, is intelligent, driven and desperate to please her father. Amber, the youngest, has her mother wrapped around her little finger and relies on her beauty to get what she wants. Caitlin is the odd-one-out, the half-sister no-one knew existed until she was 15 years old. William is their inept father who thinks that by throwing money at a problem it is solved.

At first glance, I thought this book would solely focus on Caitlin and the relationships she would be forced to grow. I was wrong; so, so wrong. Each of the sisters is treated equally in the book and dear old Daddy has his fair share of attention. Miss Hyland has created a world of fashion, deceit and family honour that I was easily lost in. Being a naturally nosey person (as I feel most readers are) I was desperate to read more to find out more about the Melville family secrets and if the sisters would finally bond and work together.

As a debut novel, this is one of the best I’ve read. I’m desperate to read more of Miss Hyland’s work, so please get writing.

REVIEW: Love Hunt by Fiona Walker

2010-01-25T05:14:00.000-08:00

Synopsis:

The announcement of a grand Treasure Hunt sets the Lodes Valley ladies' hearts aflutter. The cash is only part of the appeal: a win could solve several romantic dilemmas. Pixie Guinness sees the quest as a route back to her wayward husband; Faith hopes to snare true love, Rory; and Liv -- well, Liv just wants distraction from the boredom of country life. But it is unhappily married Trudy who finds the trail of clues leads her in quite a different direction: and one closer and closer to temptation. Is she chasing a rainbow or just chasing her own tail? As the hunt reaches its climax, the competitors find they are fighting for the highest prize of all -- their own happy ending.

Review:

This is the fourth novel in the Oddlode Valley series; however it can easily be read as a stand-alone book, which is how I read it. Not being familiar with any of Ms Walker’s work, I dived straight in. Within a couple of pages I was chuckling away to myself at lines such as “they looked like two left-footed breakfast TV stars in the first round of Strictly Come Dancing”. The characters are easy to like and I rode the twists and turns alongside Trudy as she faced them herself. Though with five strong female characters you would think it would be easy to confuse them and their situations. However, this isn’t the case. Each is well-defined and easily identifiable by their tone of voice or emotional responses to difficult situations.

One thing you have to do before you finish reading this book, in fact, before you start, is visit Ms Walker’s website (Fiona Walker) as the interactive map of the village is a fantastic aid to mind- mapping the story. Also, it is a comprehensive resource for her other novels, some of which I will now be seeking out.

This isn't a normal chick-lit or rom-com type book – there’s also quite a bit of action in it as well but the romance and comedy are still definitely there. The book is quite chunky and at first it took me a while to get into but as soon as the chemistry started I couldn’t put it down. The motto from this book is “Never give up the hunt”.

A Million Shades of Gray - REVIEW

2009-12-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

Published by Simon and Schuster, A Million Shades of Gray by Cynthia Kadohata is a moving teen book out early next year.

SYNOPSIS
Ever since Tin can remember he's wanted to be an elephant trainer. At twelve year's old he's the youngest - and in his eyes the best - elephant handler in the village. Tin can think of nothing he'd rather do than spend all day with his elephant, Lady, looking after her an d playing together. But Tin's peaceful, idyllic life is changed dramatically when the Viet Cong attack his village and he finds himself held hostage by the terrifying soldier who don't care if he lives or dies. Can Tin find the courage to escape from his captors and save not only his own life, but his precious elephants too?

REVIEW
It is obvious from reading that Kadahota has spent a lot of time researching elephants and their trainers as Y'Tin and Lady come to life in this new story. I was gripped by the relationship between Tin and his friends as well as his love of Lady and her soon-to-be-born calf. Paced slowly at first, as the village is calm and the Americans have left, moving suddenly faster as the Viet Cong invade the tribe's village. On the run for his life, Tin has to do what's best for him and Lady. Can he say goodbye to her? I loved this book, though not something I would've usually picked up, I'll now be searching out Kadohata's previous award-winning stories. Suitable for 12 year olds and up, this is a must buy read.

Back, but not quite so bouncy...

2009-12-14T03:53:00.000-08:00

I've been offline for a while and now I'm back, but I'm not better by any means. For those of you who are unaware, I've had depression for a while now, on and off. The last few months have been very busy, what with a new part time job, children at school and finding new routines. So I stayed offline as I was struggling to find the new me through all of the above. However, recently, things took a serious nose dive.
I'd begun to listen to a little voice in my head telling me I was useless at everything I did: work, housework, mothering, wifeing, everything. As I listened to this voice I began to hide my feelings from everyone, too. And so the tears started and I couldn't stop them. I'd shut myself off from the world, from those who loved me. This built up and up until... BANG! Last Wednesday I could no longer keep the facade I had held for weeks at work. I crumbled.
Firstly, I texted hubby and told him to ring the helpline he'd been given by our GP. So he did and he was told to get me to the GP or hospital asap. I rang the GP and he was on half day closing - wonderful. I had to tell someone at work I was going but couldn't. Another text to hubby and his reply was I only had to tell one person. Ella - should you ever read this (though I doubt it knowing your love of IT lol) thank you! My dear friend Ella got another friend of mine, Keith and they hugged me until my crying was down to a whimper.
The next step was to tell someone in senior management. To my amazement, the only senior teacher I know to be a Christian came to me and prayed for me. She then took me to hospital and stayed by my side until hubby appeared. They said they couldn't help! I explained I was suicidal and hearing voices and they sent the psychiatric nurse to talk to me. She said I needed to be referred by my GP. Hmmm, he's on half day closing, so she gave me a phone number for the local mental health nurses.
On the way home I rang them and they said they'd ring me back that afternoon. Which they did. We're getting somewhere at last, I thought. I thought wrong. They said they'd write with an appointment for next week. I had to go to the doctors first thing in the morning, get my medication checked and get signed off work. I got signed off, got new tablets and slept hours and hours. On Saturday I got a letter saying I had an appointment - for JANUARY 4TH!!!!!!!!!! For goodness sake! I rang and they said there was nothing they could do due to the time of year they were shutting for Christmas.
So I'm now sitting at home - alone - shaking due to the effects of my new tablets and being withdrawn from my old ones. Worrying about what colleagues think about me. I'm not daft, I know the stigma mental health has. Feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Not looking forward to Christmas though with two young children I'm desperately trying to find some bounce in me somewhere.
So, there you go. My life in the last few days has turned upside down. I'm the worst I've ever been yet the NHS has failed me and my family. Hubby is anxious - worried about me and the children, he now feels like he is a father of 3. What next for me? I don't know. More tears? Definitely. More loneliness? I hope not. The dreaded S word? Please, God, I hope not. However, I know I lose control to the voices in my head every now and again and they win. I pray they don't ultimately win the greatest prize of all - my life.

Baby Boy

2009-09-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

I made this today - took me two hours but I think it's worth it. A friend had a little baby boy last week and I get to meet him tomorrow. The teddy is made using wallpaper in my first attempt at decoupage. The bottle is made laying papers, as is the baby-gro (stuck on with a pad to give a 3D effect). Finally, the pram is partly card and paper and the rest drawn on with metallic gel pen.

What do you think? You can click on the picture to see a closer view.

New blog post on Mad Days of a Mother

2009-09-08T05:39:00.000-07:00

I've written a post on my regrets whilst being a mother. Please go and read it on Mad Days of a Mother.

New blog!

2009-09-07T13:34:00.001-07:00

Please come over to Mad Days of a Mother. It's a new collaborative blog written between Julie, Jennie and myself - three mothers who want to share our mad, mad days.

First day at school.

2009-09-07T12:15:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day at school. Seriously, it was. Well, OK, ish. I started my first day working as a Learning Mentor at a high school today so in a way it was. It's been 16 months since I last worked (woah! That means it's been 16 months since we met and brought home our children!) so I was more than a little nervous.

Before leaving for the adoption of our children I was a Connexions Adviser in the school I'm now a Learning Mentor. I was the lead adviser there for the entire time I worked for them, so 4 1/2 years. Before that I was a lecturer in a Further Education College for students with severe learning difficulties and disabilities for a year. And for 4 1/2 years before that, I was a primary teacher so I've always been involved in education in one way or another.

Last night, I was so nervous. I think I drove my husband mad going on and on about it, checking my bag, making sure I had my diary, pens, tea, mug, etc. This morning I was just as nervous but I had to get dressed, straighten my hair, get kids up and feed them and myself. My parents came at 7.55am to look after the children and off I went. Three meetings and one hot chocolate later and my first morning was over.

You see, I'm just doing 15 hours a week and can be flexible how I work them. So already I'm not working tomorrow as my two don't start school and playgroup until Wednesday so I'd like to get them ready and enjoy the last day of the holidays with them.

I enjoyed myself and still feel a little nervous as I have a lot of responsibility as Aim Higher co-ordinator and CAF co-ordinator - a lot to cover - as well as working with students and also doing some cover teaching when one teacher goes off for an operation.

World of work - are you listening? I'M BACK!

HELP ME!!!!

2009-09-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

I'm making an apple alphabet for Little Man's room using wooden apples bought from a craft site. I've painted them with poster paints and they dried brilliantly - 2 coats of each colour. Now all I have to do is varnish them. DISASTER! I bought clear, interior varnish and began on z - the paint brush started turning pink from the red paint underneath and the black of the z is starting to run. Any suggestions of varnish I can use???

Body Image Bothers Me.

2009-09-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

I admit it. I have an appalling view of my own body. Quite frankly, I hate it. Which doesn't mean I hate myself (well, on some days I do, but that's another post) but I just don't like the way I look. I'm 5'6" tall and wear size 18/20/22 clothes depending on style and fit. I also have humungous boobs which annoy me constantly, not only because of their size and weight, but because they are different sizes and I have to fill one cup with fake, plastic, chicken-fillet-type things.

Also, due to having PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) I find it very easy to put on weight (something to do with insulin levels) and very difficult to lose weight (as my body naturally craves starch, therefore, stodgy foods). Another downside of PCOS is that I suffer from hirsutism which doesn't help lift my self-esteem in any way, shape or form. (PCOS is also one of many reasons we decided to adopt as it severely affected my fertility.)

Today we went uniform shopping which consisted of shoes and socks for Little Man, shoes, socks and blouses for Little Miss and smart clothes for me. I haven't worked since we brought home the children April 2008 and starting a new job so not really got any appropriate clothes. We bought the children's clothes first then started looking for me. Not much in our local stores so moved to a bigger town. Everything was too small or jeans!

I sobbed and sobbed and hubby had to stop the car to console me. I felt so fat and ugly and self-hate just poured out of me. It wouldn't stop. My beautiful little girl was reaching forward to stroke my hair through the headrest, bless her (and she's 5). Little Man kept going "there, there Mummy, I love you" (he's 3!). They know mummy cries sometimes (ie has depression) and they're so understanding, bless.

We drove to another shopping area where I was saved by New Look and Peacocks. Both of which stock larger sizes and had sales on - bonus! I haven't dared put them on again yet though. I think I'd cry if I looked at myself in a mirror right now. Not helped by the fact I sleep next to our wardrobe: the doors of which are floor to ceiling mirrors. Getting dressed in the morning is done with my back to them.

Now, my husband often tells me he loves me for me; not my body, not my ample bosom, but me. He even tells me I don't love you for this, this, this, etc, touching my belly, chest, face, but love you for this and touches my heart. He says I am beautiful to him and to our children and he wouldn't swap me for anyone. Gosh, I'm welling up typing this. He says he loves me no matter what my size but wants me to be happy. I love that man!

Where do I go from here? I've tried diets and exercise plans and can't get down past a size 18 so maybe my aim should be just to get there - in all clothes - for now. Or maybe my aim should be to love the skin I'm in. My son loves my "wobbly belly" as he calls it and loves to lie his head on my "pillows" - yes, my chest. My daughter says she loves me - all of me. I'm loved so much, maybe I should start loving me too.

My weekend away:the ups and downs

2009-08-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

On the whole I had an amazing weekend away, with just a couple of little hiccups.

We set of Friday morning having left my mum and dad ready to move into ours for a night to look after Little Man and Little Miss. Traffic was fine going down to London and we got to the hotel 30 minutes before check in time. They let us check in anyway. We stayed at the Hilton: Docklands. A huge, hotel situated beside the Thames. Based in 3 large buildings, we were in building number 1. With bare brick walls and gorgeous decor, this was a very comfortable room. Marble coated the surfaces in the bathroom and the television even welcomed us by name. Three minutes into our stay, hubby received a telephone call asking us if we were happy with our rooms. Er, let me think, YES!

We then took a stroll beside the river before returning to get ready for our evevning out. The hotel had a courtesy minibus service to take us to the nearest tube station. This was a blessing as if we'd have walked it, it would have taken us at least 30 minutes. Once in London, we rang home to say goodnight to our children. Bless them. They wanted to chat forever but we had to eat. Heading into Chinatown we found a lovely restaurant and ate to our hearts content.

A little wander around Leicester Square before we headed to Shaftersbury Avenue and the Lyric Theatre where we were due to see Thriller: Live. We turned up just as the doors were opening so booked our interval drinks and enjoyed the atmosphere. All was going well, then came the first hiccup. I'm claustraphobic and our seats were in the middle of a long row. I went to the toilet then couldn't make myself walk back into the auditorium. The member of staff on the door asked if I was OK and I explained I couldn't go in. He called for the manager who said they were almost full that night but he would see what he could do. Less than a minute later he came back and said he had booked out 4 seats for us on the end of a row and would that be OK? OK? Yes! he was so lovely even though I was so apologetic - constantly.

The show itself was brilliant - my review of it is here. We raced through London to get back to the bus station in time for the last few mini buses back to the hotel (the last one was due to leave at 11.30pm) which is where our, or rather my, last hiccup occurred. I needed the toilet. Desperately. The public toilets were locked and there were no MacDonalds or such like around. So, into the only few bushes there we went - and missed the bus - and got myself covered into nettle stings - all over my bottom. Thankfully there was another bus but I was so sore I couldn't sit down properly and had to hold myself up off the seat. Hubby, meanwhile, was trying not to guffaw at me.

When back at the hotel, my itching had stopped, well, almost. We sat in the outside part of the bar and sipped at our drinks watching the boats go up and down on the river. One held a disco and we found ourselves not to be the only ones laughing at the drunken dancing on board. Finally, we rolled into bed and woke what seemed to be only a minute later. Where did the night go?

Hubby drove off to get Maccie D's for breakfast then we headed off to Milton Keynes for lunch at Frankie and Benny's. Not eaten there before but we will again. Mmmmmmm. Beautiful food.

We rushed back to see the children - we'd missed them, you see, and there was the end of our time away. A lovely break, much needed and much enjoyed. Even if I did end up prickled on my bum!

Rollasoles: give your feet a treat

2009-08-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

What are these? Only the most comfortable shoes in the world! The essential item for a girl who knows how to party. Or, for someone like me, who loves heels but heels don't love her.

Rollasoles are flat shoes that roll into a ball, perfectly fitting into any handbag or clutch. The black bag they come in then becomes the home for your heels on the night home. With well-gripped soles, these shoes are great if you're a little tipsy and struggling to stand up, as well as for feet aching and sore from hours of dancing.

Tried and tested on a long walk around London (my feet gave up on my heels very quickly) I can highly recommend these. I have the black pair - very shiny and sparkly with a pretty little bow. I'm now coveting the silver pair too - I don't neeeeed them, just like them. (The gold and pink pairs are purdy too.) Go and find out more about these on Dyna-Girl's website. Priced at £7.99 a pair it's well worth it to give your feet a treat.

Thriller: Live - a review

2009-08-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

One of the best shows I've seen at the West End, and I've seen a few. We bought tickets after the death of Michael Jackson as we were originally due to see him at the O2 Arena on the same night and hubby is a fan.

Beginning with ABC and other tracks from his years with Jackson 5, this show uses 5 adult performers and one boy to bring the music of Michael Jackson to life, travelling album by album from the 70s through to the 90s. With vibrant costumes and complex dance routines, the audience were regularly clapping and singing along. There was even audience participation as we were encouraged to stand up and join in with the songs.

An LED display added an extra dimension to the show. Especially in Thriller where a piece of black and white footage of a spooky graveyard introduced the monster within. Hubby's favourite was Blame it on the Boogie - totally boogylicious!

The singers had fantastic voices and Maria Lawson, from X-Factor 2005, had the best voice and was the closest to Michael's rich tones (according to hubby). Yet all performers brought their own, individual styles to the pieces. Ben Forster's take on Dirty Diana was my particular favourite song and the dancing on Smooth Criminal was exactly like the video.

Would I recommend this show? Yes, most definitely. Whether you're a die-hard fan or just like the songs, there is something for everyone in Thriller: Live.

What a day!

2009-08-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

I'm shattered! It's been one of those days, as those of you who follow me on Twitter may have picked up.

Dyna Girl was amazing and sent out some Rollasoles straight away so I could take them to London with me tomorrow. She even sorted out Special Delivery for me to ensure I had them to pack. So today I sat in all morning waiting for this Special Delivery (i.e. one of those where the Royal Mail say it will arrive by 1pm). I waited.... and waited...and waited.... Both Dyna Girl and I were tracking the package on the Royal Mail website and it said it was on time and on its way. After 1pm it said it was somewhere in their system. Humph! Dyna Girl was twittering and emailing me and she said her phone conversation with the Royal Mail had ended with them telling her it wouldn't be delivered until tomorrow due to disruptions caused by postal strikes throughout the country. I'd promised to take the children to Pizza Hut for lunch so at 1.40pm we went out. We only just got the buffet by 5 minutes! Phew. Staff there were so young! But lovely though.

We then did shopping and posted the prizes to all of the winners from my giveaway. (The Royal Mail staff need to learn to smile as the staff at the Post Office were so rude when I said there were 5 parcels for all over the world.) Finally, we got home after fighting our way through tons of teenagers battling police. We live in such a wonderful area (!).

Waiting at home was a little red card saying the postman had tried to deliver my parcel at 1pm but had to take it back as I wasn't in and it needed to be signed for. 1pm? You are joking, right? I was here until 1.40pm! Right, back out I dragged my poor feet, oh yes, and my poor children. Off the post office depot we went. I requested (politely-ish) a copy of the red card and a number to complain. I stormed home and rang up, fuming. Luckily for me there was the sweetest lady on the end of phone who was also cross the postie had lied on the card and said he would be reprimanded the next day he was at work. If anything happens with my post now I have my own unique reference number and can ensure it doesn't happen again.

Well, after all of that I got to try on my Rollasoles. Wow! So comfy - can't wait to try them out tomorrow night, treading the streets of London and the Tube back to the hotel. I'll fill you in about my trip away on Sunday.

A huge thank you to Louisa, Managing Director of Dyna Girl - please go visit her site or tweet her - she's lovely, and is holding Winter Sparkle later in the year - I'm going. Anyone fancy meeting up?

And the winners are......

2009-08-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

Good morning all.

Instead of eating breakfast I've been doing the draw for my first giveaway. I hope you all realise the sacrifice here. I love my buttered toast in the morning.

Anyway, less procrastinating and more announcing. With the help of random.org I have 5 names to give you (I thought some may have won more than one prize but it didn't work out like that).

The winner of the SAS Survival Guide is Deidre.

The winner of Blackmoor is Violet.

The winner of the Sonic Unleashed game is Sassyele.

The winner of the XBox Game is Danieka.

The winner of The Spirit Stone is Sarah (Blissbubbly).

Congratulations to all of the winners. Due to two grumpy children and horrendous rain here the prizes will be posted tomorrow. Please drop me a line when they arrive. I hope you enjoy them.

Competition Results Delay

2009-08-25T09:22:00.001-07:00

So sorry folks but I have an awful migraine. I have to go to bed as I feel sick. I'll post the winners of my giveaway tomorrow. Sorry again and I hope you understand.

Monday, Monday

2009-08-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

Needed to post today as haven't done so all weekend but wasn't sure what to put.

So I thought I'd post you a little poem I've used to enter a book competition. The requirements were to be eloquent. What do you think?

Now I’m not very eloquent,
As this will surely show,
But I had to find a way
To give this comp a go.

I love a sexy hero
With a chest all taut and bare
And Reyes’ chest is visible here
With not a single hair.

I’m a little unabashed
And honest enough to say
That I like a gritty heroine
Who gets her roll in the hay.

With gorgeous Reyes and edgy Kyra
There’s bound to be great sex;
Kyra lying in Reyes’ arms
Admiring his pecs.

One review on Amazon
Is quite a reasonable cost,
One which I’m prepared to pay
So I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

There you go. My words of wisdom for today.

The world's most amazing man!

2009-08-21T02:50:00.000-07:00

My husband - the world's most amazing man. There is no other man in the world who would put up with me. Not one. Well, my dad did for 26 years then was very happy he could pass on the responsibility to Andrew.

I'll start at the very beginning. We met in the summer of 2001 in Italy. A holiday romance. Him from Kent and me from Staffordshire (UK). We'd both travelled with a friend and both friends said it wouldn't work. We lived too far apart and we wouldn't see each other. Well, they were wrong. For the next 2 years, for every weekend apart from 2 we took it in turns to use Virgin Rail (don't get me started on them!) and we saw each other - went to the theatre, cinema, for a meal, to a park. Then, as we realised we would marry, we went nowhere, trying to save up for our wedding.

We got engaged the following summer on a beach in the south of France. Then Andrew moved up to Staffordshire in the Easter of 2003 and we bought our little house. Andrew stayed with friends until our wedding day as we didn't want to live together until we married. Everyone thought our wedding night was in a hotel. Hehe - 'twas in our new house. Then we set off on our honeymoon for a week in Cornwall. Again, everyone thought it was 2 weeks but we wanted a week together in our new house before Andrew returned to work. As a teacher, I had a couple of weeks left.

During those 2 years, Andrew put up with a lot. I hated him being so far away, especially as it got closer to our wedding. I lived with my parents and he with his so we didn't get much time alone. We talked on the phone for 2 hours every night. Then it started. The self harming. I'd done it at uni but it came back with a vengeance as I was so lonely and in a job where I was bullied. Andrew, bless him, texted me and rang me throughout the day. He even made me a little bag to carry in my handbag with a picture of him, a prayer card, some sweets, etc to keep me going.

After our wedding, I had horrible nightmare's about him leaving me for someone younger, slimmer, etc. He wouldn't, though, as I'm his one and only girlfriend.

Fast forward and two bouts of depression, tons of infertility problems, adoption and being diagnosed with clinical depression later and he's still with me. We celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago and he still holds me when I cry. He still rings me every lunchtime. He still supports me when I make the wrong decisions or spend money we don't have. He even made me a card for our anniversary this year - not bad for a man who is not arty in any way and hates craft with a passion.

Mills & Boon UK asked a question on twitter today. Why do you like romance books? I love them because they help me escape from my mundane life. However, there's no hero like my husband. If I were to write a romance novel it would be our story - only 8 years together but more than enough romance in there to bring a tear to your eye.

Please can I have one of these?

2009-08-20T11:45:00.001-07:00

If anyone is feeling generous, can I have the Vivid Violet one please?

Or the Racing Green...

Or the Cool Pink.

Oh I don't know but I love them! Hubby would have one too if he read more. He said he'd buy one just so people looked at him - poser!

Me? I just think they're the better ereader at the moment. No, I haven't got one. No, I haven't tested one but I've read and researched ereaders and this one looks the best.

So why buy me one?

It's SMART

Storage for hundreds of books
Windows PC and Mac compatible
One charge lasts for over 8000 page-turns

It's EASY

45% lighter than other ereaders
Easy-to-read screen, even in direct sunlight
E Ink technology mimics real paper

Great ACCESS

25% off on ebooks at coolerBOOKS.com
Largest e-bookstore with over 750,000 titles
Supports Adobe Digital Editions

You can order the readers from the COOLer website.
They cost a cool £189 which is cheaper than any other ereader on the market.
Three colours are available in the UK from Argos and all colours will soon be available from Firebox.

Don't believe me? Then why don't you have a look at The Telegraph's video review? Or check out an independent user review? Or a techy review from TechReader?

I aim to have one of these before the end of the year and when I do I will post a first hand review, but for now, I'll wait until someone offers to buy me one.

I wonder...

2009-08-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

I wonder what my life would be
If someone else, instead, was me.
I wonder what I'd choose to do
If you were me and I was you.

Would I be happy, tearful, sad
Or would I just be plain old mad?
Would you take away my pain
Or make me live it all again?

I think I'll choose to stay as me
'Cos even if I choose to be
Mad right to my very end
At least I'll know you're still my friend.

(C) Me! 2008

Pay it forward

2009-08-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, following is a “Pay It Forward” game that I am going to get on to the band wagon of. I came across this concept from reading Woolywotnot's blog. If you haven’t discovered her blog already, go over and leave a comment. It is always packed full of ideas and she is such a creative and inspirational lady.

So here it is…

I am entering into the following contract with the first 5 people who comment on this post and then commit to do the same on their blog.

Just read below and if you feel up to the task copy the following into your blog and leave me a comment.

I am willing to post overseas (I am in England UK, but remember you must commit on your blog to do the same to others).

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. Whatcha get is whatcha get.
2. What I create will be just for you, with love.
3. It’ll be done this year (2009).
4. I will not give you any clue what it’s going to be. It will be something made in the real world and not something cyber.
5. I reserve the right to do something strange or weird.
6. In return, all you need to do is post this text on your blog and make 5 things for the first 5 to respond to your blog post.
7. Send your mailing address – after I contact you.

Welcome to everyone. I will however, make an effort to do something that you like based on what I see on your blog, BUT there are no guarantees.

Competition reminder

2009-08-19T00:17:00.000-07:00

Don't forget you have less than a week now to get your entries in to win some fab prizes. Click here to go directly to the post.

Decisions, Decisions.

2009-08-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have to make a decision over whether or not to splurge on an e-reader or not. I have my eye on a Cooler Ebook but as I don't work at the moment the money isn't there. I start a part time job in September and hubby suggested I put a bit aside each week then have money for my birthday in November and buy one. I'm extremely impatient though and would like (for "would like" read "want") one now.

I've tried winning one and that hasn't worked lol.

We adopted our children last year (I had to stop working to have them as the company's family friendly policy stopped being family friendly) and they have never really had a lot so I would like to spend my wages on them. I'm torn. Is it selfish to spend nearly £200 on myself when my littlies haven't had the toys I'd like them to have? Advice in the comments box below please.

Guest blogger for Dyna-Girl

2009-08-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

When you get a spare 5 minutes, please pop over to Dyna-Girl's blog and take a peek at my look at becoming a mum for the first time - via adoption. Also, follow her on Twitter.

The joys of children's parties

2009-08-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

We had some! Sun, I mean. Wow - where did that come from? Just wish I could have sat and enjoyed it. I took Little Miss to a friend's birthday party this afternoon. Four hours of 11 under 7's. Mmmm. Not the normal way I'd choose to spend my Saturday afternoon. The mum who'd organised it is only one week away from giving birth to her third child, and boy was she organised. Every Fruit Shoot bottle had the child's name on it. Each child had 2 lucky dip presents (she couldn't face hours and hours of pass the parcel with that many children) and a lucky bag to take home. There was tons of buffet food, enough for all the mums who were there as well. The children could play with the birthday toys (Peppa Pig galore), watch tv or play outside. They lined up to choose their lunch and sat quietly eating on a floor that didn't matter if it got dirty. Her house is smaller than ours and I am terrified at the thought of having that many young children in our space. She is one brave woman! I was going to just allow our two to have a friend each (as their birthdays and mine are all in the space of 3 days) but now I may just hire out the soft play, invite numerous children and be done with it. More kids = more children to play with each other. More parents = opportunities to chat and catch up. Lots of fun for EVERYONE.

I'm a guest reviewer..

2009-08-14T02:37:00.000-07:00

I've been blessed/mad enough to have the chance to meet @LizUK face-to-face and she handed me a package. All very suspect it was too. Meeting in a coffee shop using my kids as cover. In that package were ....... two books! I've read one of them and reviewed it for her website. Eternal Cravings by Nina Bangs is the book and you can find the review here.

The Crucifix Killer - review

2009-08-13T01:39:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a very hard book for me to review. Why? It's so darn good I'm not sure I can write anything that will do it justice. I'll give it my best try though.

LA Homocide Detective Robert Hunter finds himself facing the work of a killer from his past. Not so amazing, until you realise that the killer was caught and executed years ago. A copycat killer then? Or is the unthinkable actually true? Did he catch the wrong person? Did someone die unnecessarily? The mark, a double-cross carved into the back of each victim's neck is the psycopathic signature of the Crucifix Killer.

To read more, please visit Media Reviews.

Night Terrors

2009-08-12T04:48:00.000-07:00

They scare the life out of me, to be completely honest with you. Our 3 year old has them almost every night.

Last night, though, he changed. He walked. In his sleep. All the way down the stairs, through the lounge, through the dining room, through the kitchen and into the playroom where I was singing my head off whilst sorting out my "to bre read" pile. He stood there at the door smiling, freakily! I said hi and he replied "hello Mummy" in some weird, Chucky-type voice. I asked what he was doing and he replied "watching you" in same scary voice. I picked him up and carried him back to bed. Thankfully, he didn't do anything else last night.

Usually, about 2-3 hours after we put him to bed, we hear this frightening wail. It's like an air raid siren as it starts quiet and builds to a very loud, high-pitched scream. When one of us has raced to get to him, shh-ing all the way up the stairs in the dire hope he doesn't wake our daughter up, he is sitting up and shaking. We lie him down and stroke his hair but it's as if he doesn't know us or know we're there as sometimes he carries on crying for a while longer.

I know he'll probably have them for a while but they only started 3 months ago. Does anyone else have children who have /have had them? Any suggestions? They upset us more than him, which is a good thing in one way, but would like him to have a settled night.

We keep him cool and he is fine with the dark as has firmly told us he doesn't want his nightlight on. Bedtime has a routine of bath, story, prayers then cuddle and bed. I'm running out of ideas.

My first giveaway!

2009-08-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

OK here is my first ever blog giveaway. Who wants to join in?

First off, here are the prizes:

Collins Gem SAS Survival Guide: a fun little book, useful for any walker, camper or someone who dreams of being in the SAS
Sonic Unleased for PS2: had to keep my hubby away from this one or I'd never see him.
Mega Drive Ultimate Collection for XBox360: all the games from when I was growing up.
Blackmoor by Edward Hogan: a fantastic debut novel.
The Spirit Stone by Katherine Kerr: The thrilling new installment from her Dragon Mage series.

5 prizes = 5 winners.

So how do you enter?

First off I will post worldwide but the games are bought in UK so may not work in other countries. It is up to you to check.

Required:
+1 entry: follow my blog and write a comment telling me you've done so.
+1 entry: email me with your postal details to seriouslykooky@googlemail.com (if you don't do this how can I let you know if you've won?)

(see? two entries before you even start!)

Additional entries:
+1 entry: tweet, facebook, post on your blog a link to this giveaway and post your link in a comment below (1 entry for every link you post)

You can enter to win a prize of your choice or all 5 - let me know in your comment.

Each prize will be drawn using random.org.

Closing date is 25th August 2009 6pm GMT

Good luck x

Winter Sparkle 29/11/09

2009-08-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

Now, you've all heard of Dyna-Girl haven't you? What? You haven't? Tut, tut. Right, first of all get yourself over to the website and look at the fabulous products for busy mummies who deserve a treat.

You're back. So now you've seen what's on offer, you need to know about Winter Sparkle.
Winter Sparkle 2009 will be held on 29th November at the Park Inn Hotel, Watford, Hertfordshire from 6pm – 10.30pm. There should be approximately 40 stalls selling a variety of goods from local businesses that are different to the High Street, so it will be a wonderful opportunity to treat yourself to some fabulous products but also to buy a few Christmas presents too. In addition, they aim to have approximately 5 wonderful Beauticians who will perform mini beauty treatments to help you revitalise and rejuvinate while you shop. As well as all this, they will have a dedicated relaxation area where you can sit with your friends and have a relaxing cup of tea or glass of wine and catch up on your purchases.

It sounds really good doesn’t it? I am so excited!

This whole event is FREE! Not only that, there is free parking if you choose to drive, although the hotel is centrally located and within walking distance of both Watford Junction and the town centre. PLUS, the first 200 visitors to the event will get a FREE GOODY BAG! If you pre-register your interest now, you will be entered into a FREE PRIZE DRAW and the lucky winner will receive £50 to spend at the event. That’s a few Christmas presents taken care of!

You can register your interest at Winter Sparkle plus find out more information about the event. Keep checking back as the list of exhibitors will be updated regularly.

It may seem a bit of a drive for some people, myself included, so I've booked a room in the hotel so I can enjoy the whole evening and then collapse into bed before having to drive home the next day.

Who will join me?

Welcome to my world

2009-08-11T01:33:00.001-07:00

If you're reading this, thank you. I have another blog which I shall transfer bits across, but no one seemed to read it. Maybe I didn't advertise it enough, but this time I shall.

I'm a friendly girl and don't mind you asking questions to find out more about me. I love to read and review books - well I seem to read more than I review - my to be reviewed pile is growing, as is my to be read. Oops. Oh well, will learn to manage my time a bit better...soon.

I'm on twitter @seriouslykooky so please come and say hi! Though don't follow me if you don't like reading lots of tweets as I'm a prolific tweeter. I follow the best tweeple: feel free to look at who I'm following.

This blog will be full of lots of different things. To find out more, why not take a chance on me and follow ...